I Am Here For Him...And Him For Me

So I wasn't feeling motivated to blog today - up until this point, there was really nothing noteworthy that stuck out and/or no random thoughts that I felt would be interesting to share since all my non-mom brain energy has been consumed with preparing for Heather and Looney's wedding on Saturday, in which I am the Matron of Honor (more on that event in the next several days, I promise). But then, as I sat down to read after dinner tonight and began a new chapter in my book, this is how that chapter began - with a quote from Albert Einstein:

Strange is our situation here on Earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that man is here for the sake of other men - above all for those whose smiles and well-being our own happiness depends.

I immediately put down my book and logged into my blog, as I instantly identified with this quote and the sentiment behind it. There are many special people in my life and I know that without them, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Nor would I be as happy or as full as I feel I am just by knowing them. However, there is one person that stands out among them. One person, that until he was born, gave me the freedom to live my life feeling as though I could be happy regardless of others' situations, even when I allowed myself to empathize with them.

When Anthony was born, all of that changed. Without his smiles and his little, unintentional ways of showing me that he's a happy person, there is absolutely no way I would feel the joy that I do everyday that he is alive. Sure, there are times when being a mom sucks and when I selfishly nurse my glass (ok, bottle) of wine while the wee one tugs at my leg whining because his mama isn't being responsive. And there are times that I jealously listen to stories of the carefreeness (I know that's not a real word!) with which my siblings and friends who don't have kids lead their lives. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't trade my role as a mom for anything.

Without my little dude, I wouldn't be as happy as I am today. (I also wouldn't be as tired, but that's beside the point...) The way he throws his arms around my shoulders, nuzzles his head into the crook of my neck, pats me on the nape of my neck, and holds me tight as if I'm the most important and loved person in the world makes me melt. And I wish those moments would last forever. And I hope that one day, when he's grown up and much taller than I, that he'll still look at me and smile and make me feel like I'm the most important and loved person in the world. Because after all, I really do feel like I was put on this Earth for him and I now know, without a doubt, that my happiness depends on his smiles and his well-being.

I love you so so much, my sweet Budly.