I Love You Just The Way You Are

In a world where behavior is very much dictated by gender roles, I try my hardest to give Anthony the impression that it is okay to be who he is and do what he wants as long as he's not breaking any rules. If he wants to play with a doll, who cares? If he wants to play dress-up with Mommy's jewelry, who cares? And if he wants to file his nails while Mommy gives herself a pedicure because that's what he sees Mommy doing...who cares? My point being that I never want to be the kind of parent that forces my hopes and dreams and thoughts down my child's throat. I want him to grow up feeling comfortable about himself and about his choices. I want him to know that it's okay for boys to do "girly things" and girls to do "boy things" and not be ashamed of that; rather, be proud of it and of who he is...whoever his little self ends up growing up to be.

These were the random thoughts that went through my head as Anthony helped me vacuum this morning. How great it is that he gets just as excited to help me clean (I know THAT will change!) as he gets about helping Daddy build a shed. I hope we, as parents, continue to foster that in him.

Love Was In The Air

Congratulations, Heather and Looney! What a beautiful wedding and what fun memories were made this weekend. Thank you. Here are some reasons why the wedding and all the festivities surrounding it this weekend were so memorable and so special:

- The couple exuded excitement and happiness.

- The bride was beautiful.

- The weather was perfect.

- The groom and his "men" walked into the ceremony to "The Final Countdown," wearing shades and giving each other high-fives as they took their places in line - AWESOME moment!

- There was a surprise 80s cover band at the reception. Rock on!

- Good friends were in abundance.

- Walked around the hotel the night before the wedding with Heather, Looney, and Yo - wine glasses filled and in hand - taking stupid pictures and acting like we were in high school and not caring about what others thought and having a complete blast.

- The day of the wedding was completely relaxed.

- I made it through the Matron of Honor speech at the reception and got loads of compliments on it throughout the night.

- The wine flowed...all weekend!

- I got to take pictures of Heather and Looney practicing their first dance in the hotel room after the rehearsal. They were so cute and acted as if nobody else was in the room watching them. Lots of laughs. In that moment, all that mattered was the two of them.

- Mark looked me in the eyes as we were dancing at the wedding and told me he loved me. For us, life doesn't allow for moments like that very often anymore and we don't make time as often as we should to give those moments an opportunity to present themselves. It was treasured.

- I looked at one of Heather's bridesmaids, who happens to be gay, during the same song and saw her dancing with her girlfriend - so happy and so in love - without anyone giving them a moment's notice. That's the way it should be.

-I looked over at 2 friends of ours, that have gone through a really low point in their marriage over the course of the last year and a half, during that same song and noticed that they were smiling at each other as they danced. It gave me hope.

- As I sat alone watching Heather dance with her dad during the father-daughter dance, I got a tad emotional and one of the other bridesmaids pulled up a chair next to me and told me that she knew how I felt. She lost her dad 10 years ago and promised me that it keeps getting easier.

- Watching Mark and my mom dance. Watching Looney and my mom dance. Watching my mom order a drink at the bar, turn around and see me standing behind her, and giving me this "on no, she caught me" smile as if I was her mom and she was my daughter. All were good times. :)

- At one point I looked over at Mark and Laura and they were talking and laughing and just looked like they were really having a fun time together. I am so thankful and feel so lucky that my husband and my siblings genuinely enjoy their time together.

- I had a heart-to-heart with Joe. I miss those with him. Conversations with him are always so meaningful and so deep.

- Both of Heather's parents came up to me at different times during the reception to thank me for being such a good friend to Heather. I have always considered her one of my closest friends and being by her side throughout this whole wedding experience has made me grow even closer to her. She truly is like a sister.

All in all, from the minute the rehearsal began to bidding farewell to the happy couple as they walked away from the ballroom and into the elevator, it was a weekend that will never be forgotten. Here are some pictures:

Move Over U2

This morning at about 7:45am, I had one of those moments when I thought to myself, "Everything in the world is just perfect right now."

Anthony and I started a Music Together class yesterday in my ongoing attempt to expose him to music as much as possible, hoping that he'll grow up to enjoy it as much as I do. So far, so good - the plan is working. He loves music and he loves dancing. So this morning I popped in the cd that they give you on the first day of "class" and Anthony kind of started bouncing up and down, i.e., dancing. So I decided to join him. I put down the coffee cup that I was in the middle of filling and began jumping around the kitchen like a lunatic, singing to the music, clapping, the whole nine yards. That's when Anthony decided to pull out a 9x13 and a serving spoon and create a one-man percussion section. Of course it wasn't as fun if Mommy wasn't doing it too, so he hooked me up with my very own "drum." So there we were, dancing, singing, and playing our drums - I had just gotten a shower so I was lookin' pretty rough and Anthony had snot running down his upper lip, but I thought to myself, "Life can't get any sweeter right now. This is perfect." What a fun way to spend 10 minutes of my day.

Here are some pics that I snapped while Budly was rockin' out:


And this was the aftermath from our jam session:

Good times, good times...

I Am Here For Him...And Him For Me

So I wasn't feeling motivated to blog today - up until this point, there was really nothing noteworthy that stuck out and/or no random thoughts that I felt would be interesting to share since all my non-mom brain energy has been consumed with preparing for Heather and Looney's wedding on Saturday, in which I am the Matron of Honor (more on that event in the next several days, I promise). But then, as I sat down to read after dinner tonight and began a new chapter in my book, this is how that chapter began - with a quote from Albert Einstein:

Strange is our situation here on Earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that man is here for the sake of other men - above all for those whose smiles and well-being our own happiness depends.

I immediately put down my book and logged into my blog, as I instantly identified with this quote and the sentiment behind it. There are many special people in my life and I know that without them, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Nor would I be as happy or as full as I feel I am just by knowing them. However, there is one person that stands out among them. One person, that until he was born, gave me the freedom to live my life feeling as though I could be happy regardless of others' situations, even when I allowed myself to empathize with them.

When Anthony was born, all of that changed. Without his smiles and his little, unintentional ways of showing me that he's a happy person, there is absolutely no way I would feel the joy that I do everyday that he is alive. Sure, there are times when being a mom sucks and when I selfishly nurse my glass (ok, bottle) of wine while the wee one tugs at my leg whining because his mama isn't being responsive. And there are times that I jealously listen to stories of the carefreeness (I know that's not a real word!) with which my siblings and friends who don't have kids lead their lives. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't trade my role as a mom for anything.

Without my little dude, I wouldn't be as happy as I am today. (I also wouldn't be as tired, but that's beside the point...) The way he throws his arms around my shoulders, nuzzles his head into the crook of my neck, pats me on the nape of my neck, and holds me tight as if I'm the most important and loved person in the world makes me melt. And I wish those moments would last forever. And I hope that one day, when he's grown up and much taller than I, that he'll still look at me and smile and make me feel like I'm the most important and loved person in the world. Because after all, I really do feel like I was put on this Earth for him and I now know, without a doubt, that my happiness depends on his smiles and his well-being.

I love you so so much, my sweet Budly.

One Year Later...

As a Hokie, I feel obliged to acknowledge the events that took place a year ago today that have been dubbed, "The Virginia Tech Tragedy." I took these pictures last May when we went camping just south of Blacksburg and took a day trip to our alma mater. I still can't put into words how that tragedy affected me. I know I graduated almost 10 years ago now (holy cow, has it really been that long?!), but I honestly felt violated as I watched the news unfold a year ago. How could someone do that at my school? My school, a place that only held happy memories for me. And now, for so many, is associated with such sadness. It's hard for me to comprehend. I feel for everyone that was directly involved and today I pause for a moment to remember all the lives that have been forever changed. However, as Nikki Giovanni wrote in her poignant, and now famous, poem, "We are the Hokies and we will prevail." I don't think anyone could argue with that. The Hokie Nation (I know it sounds ridiculous to those of you who aren't Virginia Tech alum) really banded together and prevailed. I am most proud to be among them.

And 4 other random thoughts today:

- I am already so sick of all the coverage and hoopla surrounding the Pope's visit to the U.S. and it hasn't even been 24 hours yet. Oprah was pre-empted yesterday so that we could watch as the Pope stepped off the plane at Andrew's Air Force Base. I mean, seriously? Sorry to all you Catholics out there, but I am genuinely annoyed.

- Can I just get 2 seconds where I don't have to wipe snot off of Anthony's face? I mean I feel really sorry for the kid since he's sneezing non-stop and I think he's experiencing some sort of spring allergies, but mama needs a break! And more money to invest in Puffs Plus. And more patience to deal with all the crankiness. Holy shit.

- I am really psyched about starting my yoga class tonight. They offer it at my gym, but I've been afraid to go to a class because none of them are "for beginners." So I decided to sign up for an 8-week class through the county. My reasoning is that if I pay to learn the basics, I can then go to free classes at my gym with much more confidence. Wish me luck!

- The weather today is absolutely gorgeous. I am so looking forward to taking Anthony outside after naptime so he can play with his "ross" (read: rocks) and "veese" (read: leaves) while I mow the lawn. I love mowing the lawn.

My Goal

I have been intrigued by others' blogs for a long time. For what ever reason, I don't really need to know the author in order to become obsessed with what he/she has to say. Maybe it's the voyeur in me...or the psychologist. Maybe it's my natural tendency to be drawn to anything remotely resembling reality TV. Whatever the reason, I enjoy reading about others' lives and others' thoughts.

So, here I am starting a blog of my own. I have to admit though that this is my second attempt at doing this. Several years ago I started a blog, but soon after, began neglecting it. So what makes me want to start another one now, you may ask? The off-the-cuff answer would be, "I don't know." But the more I think about it, the more I come to realize that there are so many little things that happen on a daily basis that I think would be really special to document. And since becoming a mom, these "little" everyday things don't seem that little or insignificant anymore. Of course many of these "things" relate to Anthony, but not all of them. Also, I have always found it so much easier to express my feelings through writing. I hope to use this blog as a forum to do just that. So, with the encouragement of one of my friends and the motivation from reading others' blogs...

...here's to Attempt #2!

And with that, here is an example of one of those little moments that I want to remember forever. This was taken right after Anthony had finished a bowl of Cincinnati chili for dinner the other night. He was laughing and clapping because Mark and I were laughing at how he managed to get chili everywhere! In the words of my dear friend, Meg, it was so very PLG. :)